


Droids Have Hearts...and Dicks, Apparently

by emotionalcorn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: NSFW, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-15 22:20:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5802307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionalcorn/pseuds/emotionalcorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Threepio finally tells Artoo his true feelings and they share a passionate moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Droids Have Hearts...and Dicks, Apparently

**Author's Note:**

> This is for you, Lois. 
> 
> Tori, if you see this, turn back now. It's fucking droid porn. Don't read it. (Forgive me.)

The hangar was bustling with activity as the Rebels prepared to throw their plan into action: destroy the Death Star.  
Threepio watched as Artoo was lifted into Luke Skywalker’s ship. As insufferable as Artoo could be, Threepio hated to be separated from him, but there was no place for him aboard Luke’s ship.  
“Hang on tight, Artoo,” Threepio warned the droid. “You’ve got to come back. You wouldn’t want my life to get boring, would you?”  
Artoo beeped a sarcastic comment. Threepio chose not to respond, but watched as he and Luke flew off. It was then that Threepio realized that there was a great chance that Artoo would not return. Artoo would never learn how Threepio felt…  
To keep tabs on Artoo--and the rest of the Rebels--Threepio quickly joined Princess Leia and several other Rebel Alliance members in the command center. He could hear all of the radio transmissions. As pilots began to die, his worry began to escalate. He feared each thing Luke said would be his last. He couldn’t hear Artoo, and he wasn’t sure Artoo could hear him, but that didn’t stop him from saying, “Hang in there, Artoo.”  
At first it seemed like their side was gaining the upper hand, but then more pilots began dropping off. They were no nearer to hitting their target, but Threepio refused to lose hope. He wanted to believe in Luke.  
Then, suddenly: “I’ve lost Artoo!”  
If Threepio had a heart, it would have dropped. Lost Artoo? Surely it wasn’t too bad...He lost communication, that was all...Artoo couldn’t be gone forever.  
Threepio glanced at Leia. She met his eyes, then looked away, offering no words of comfort.  
The rest of the mission went by in a haze. Threepio barely noticed what was going on. He could only think of Artoo.  
Soon, shouts of victory filled the air. The Death Star was destroyed, the surviving pilots were on their way back to the base. It wasn’t long before Luke’s ship returned to the hangar. Threepio pushed through the crowd surrounding the ship, anxious to see his friend.  
Artoo was pulled out of the ship, covered in scorch marks, silent. Threepio never knew Artoo to be silent.  
“Oh, no,” murmured Luke.  
“Artoo! Can you hear me?” Threepio asked desperately. There was no response. “Say something!” He turned to the man standing next to him. “You can repair him, can’t you?”  
“We’ll get to work on him right away,” the man promised.  
“You must repair him!” Threepio said as they began wheeling Artoo away. He turned back to Luke. “Sir, if you need any of my servomotors, I will gladly donate!” He would do anything to bring Artoo back. He needed to see him again. This couldn’t be the end.  
“He’ll be alright,” Luke said, but he didn’t sound like he completely believed it.

It was hours before Threepio saw Artoo again. The hours were spent in agony. Many people thought droids felt no emotions, Threepio realized. They thought droids were heartless. But they felt pain. Sadness. Happiness. Love. Droids had hearts.  
Threepio stood in the same room where Artoo was being repaired. He wasn’t watching--he couldn’t bear seeing him taken apart--but he was listening. Listening for sounds of hope. Or despair. For familiar beeping. But there was only low murmuring and the buzzing of tools he couldn’t see.  
After what seemed like ages, there was silence. Threepio was afraid to look up, afraid to speak. To ask what was going on. If something had gone wrong.  
A series of beeps interrupted his thoughts. Threepio’s head snapped up. Artoo stood before him, shiny and new, as if he had just been built.  
“You were likely near death, and the first thing you do is insult me? Typical,” Threepio said, trying to sound critical but unable to hide his relief. The group who had been working on him laughed and left the room, either to repair more damaged droids or join the celebrations.  
“Artoo, I am going to tell you something, and I ask that you take me seriously,” Threepio said. Artoo beeped in agreement. Threepio stepped forward, until they were almost touching. “Artoo, after all the time we have spent together, despite all the arguing, all the times you’ve nearly driven me insane… I have developed feelings for you. I believe I love you, Artoo.”  
Threepio waited for a response. When he finally got one, he was astounded and pleased. “You feel the same? You’ve felt this way for a long time? Why didn’t you tell me? Oh, Artoo, you didn’t need to be afraid, you know I’d never leave you.”  
“Fuck me right now, Daddy,” Artoo said, but in binary, so it just sounded like a lot of beeps.  
“Oh my, you are straightforward as always.”  
Threepio ran his hands over Artoo’s new plating and Artoo beeped in pleasure. Threepio’s dick was rock hard. Following Artoo’s instructions, he ripped off some of the plating, and he fucked Artoo right in his droid ass. Artoo screamed in pleasure, even though he couldn’t really feel anything, since he’s a goddamn droid.  
Threepio knew he was a droid. He was created to serve. But there were moments he felt almost human. As he fondled Artoo’s cold droid legs, the burning desire within him made him feel more human than he had ever felt before. Artoo ejected his electric probe to spice things up. Threepio was very aroused. His lust for Artoo increased and he stuck his hands right into Artoo, feeling up all his sexy servomotors.Threepio’s moans mixed with Artoo’s beeps and screams.  
After they had satisfied themselves and each other, they lay on the ground next to each other, Threepio stroking Artoo’s photoreceptor. “If there were to be a movie series about us,” Threepio said, “in every off-screen moment, we would do the do. There would be no proof that we weren’t doing the do. That’s fucking fantastic.”  
So they sat, pondering the possibility of many sexual encounters between many heartwarming adventures.


End file.
